Kudos to you guys. Not only have you managed to find the stupidest women in America, you've managed to keep them all out of that nasty little "over 30" age bracket. Oh - and the RV idea? How very "Rock of Love" of you. I thoroughly enjoy watching dip-shit 23 year-olds teeter around in Christian Louboutin heels on a CAMPGROUND!!! Thank you. A special thank you to the girl from New York - the swimsuit model with the so obviously Resatylane enhanced lips and the over-exaggerated Long Island accent who, by the way, looks suspiciously closer to 35 than she is to 25. She makes all New York women shine by example. No wonder the rest of the country thinks less of us. She didn't even know how to start a FIRE. Hello??? Cavemen were able to figure out that if you rub 2 sticks together, something might spark up. I'm sure those fancy pants producers of the show were able to provide lighter fluid for you. Did a chef make those s'mores?
To the women pining for this man, whom you met a mere month ago; I really admire how you all managed to muster the tears and shock for the women who are lucky enough to get the boot. Are you all that stupid or are you just really really good actors? Newsflash - these women are your COMPETITION. Do you think David Beckham cries a little inside when the other team loses a game?
And last but not least - Jake. I am slow clapping for you man. The tears, the drama. Having 8 typically and conventionally (and kind of in a boring way) beautiful women are "falling in love with you" and you act as though you have been given the job of bringing peace to the world. Is the choice that hard? Seriously - at least 3 of them all kind of look the same and I'm sure you have trouble keeping their names straight. Most of them are in marketing (a very vague and broad term synonymous with "expendable job at which I will leave as soon as I make the cover of People"). Does it really matter in the end? No.
Anyway, a sincere thank you to the producers, the staff and all of you who make my Monday night so much more exciting. Because nothing beats making fun of hot messes and watching grown women act like sorority girls.
Love,
Stephanie
And last but not least - Jake. I am slow clapping for you man. The tears, the drama. Having 8 typically and conventionally (and kind of in a boring way) beautiful women are "falling in love with you" and you act as though you have been given the job of bringing peace to the world. Is the choice that hard? Seriously - at least 3 of them all kind of look the same and I'm sure you have trouble keeping their names straight. Most of them are in marketing (a very vague and broad term synonymous with "expendable job at which I will leave as soon as I make the cover of People"). Does it really matter in the end? No.
Anyway, a sincere thank you to the producers, the staff and all of you who make my Monday night so much more exciting. Because nothing beats making fun of hot messes and watching grown women act like sorority girls.
Love,
Stephanie
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